FOX News is reporting that Harbor Freight is recalling a million knives it sold over the past ten years. Knife elitists everywhere say “told you so” and then reach into their pockets to gently caress their Sebenzas.

Quality Tools. Lowest Prices.

A lot of you out there are steel snobs (“Like the guy in the $5,000 suit is going to carry a Kershaw? C’MON!”), but chances are that many of you bought one of these China-made-lawsuits-waiting-to-happen.  Take note of this recall, and please bear in mind that it’s going to be tough to type the blog’s URL in when the finger you use to hunt-and-peck looks like an overcooked Vienna sausage because your knife’s Harbor Freight© probably-glass locking mechanism® snapped when you were trying to pry off the padlock that your landlord used to lock you out (again). Don’t use a truck stop tier knife for actual work. Please.

There are “seven reports ‘of the knife failing to lock’ — resulting in at least six reports of laceration injuries, and at least four people needing medical attention.”  This story highlights the dangers of the made-in-China “JUST AS GOOD” consumerist philosophy that we are seeing more and more every day, especially in the gun industry. You get what you pay for – it’s true. And what exactly does one pay for an inherently dangerous tool that, when used a certain way, places you and everyone within your blood circle at risk?

People “should immediately stop using the recalled knives and return them to a Harbor Freight Tools store,” the U.S. Consumer Producer Safety Commission detailed in a news release. Consumers who do so will receive a $5 gift card as a full refund.

Wowza. Five (5) dollars. FULL REFUND. Guys, the Taco Bell Crunchy Tacos Combo costs seventy-nine cents more than this Harbor Freight knife, and when those snap it’s because you are biting into a crisp, delicious corn shell, not slicing off your index finger. Certainly no one expected this to be a good blade for $5, but it’s difficult to imagine purchasing just about anything for $5 or less and then later employ it in a situation where failure of this object (that has “CHINA” emblazoned on the edge, no less) would cause death or great bodily harm.

Did Harbor Freight make a junk knife that it could have reasonably expected to be used in a situations where the locking mech might fail? Possibly. But then again, look at the numbers – one million sold and only 7 reports (emphasis: “reports”) of failure? That’s 99.9999993% of the knives out there NOT failing (yet). Hmm.

Please also note the subtle dig at the end of the article:

The California-based company has more than 1,000 stores across the U.S. and sells “great quality tools at the lowest prices,” according to the store’s website.

LOL.

Questions:

• How many people will actually see this recall?
• How many people will then go through the trouble of returning the “Gordon Folding Knife” for a measly $5 gift cert?
• How many people who claim the gift certificate will turn around and buy another Harbor Freight folding knife and accidentally cripple themselves or others as a result?

So whose fault is this? Maybe Harbor Freight, maybe the purchaser. But it’s tough to…point the finger.