Man Drinking Crown Royal Whilst Cleaning Sand from his Gun Shoots Woman on Florida Beach

What a title for an article. In this edition of “Just Florida Things,” a woman was relaxing on the beach in Panama City, Florida when she was suddenly shot in the knee by a man who was cleaning sand out of his gun on a balcony above. The man, Damien Chhoeung, was arrested and his bail was set at $10,000. The woman who was shot was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries. She is expected to make a full recovery.

Chhoeung told police he had been drinking Crown Royal – the negligent discharger’s bev of choice – when he pulled his gun out of his backpack and saw sand in it, police said. He began cleaning sand out of his pistol (probably a Taurus but that’s a pure guess) when he accidentally fired it.

As you might imagine, a Crown-drunk man who just cracked a round off made several more poor decisions in the immediate aftermath. (Allegedly.) Chhoeung and friends put the gun back into the backpack, and hid the gun in the woods nearby, police said. Chhoeung (again, allegedly) later provided police with a Google Maps pin drop location of where the gun had been hidden. As icing on the cake, he was also charged with possession of marijuana, in addition to multiple weapon offenses, attempting to destroy or conceal evidence, and attempted manslaughter, according to jail records.

If he’d just stuck with the beach fanny pack carry as I recommend, he would have been both fashionable and safe, with plenty of pockets to store his marijuana.

How’s your summer going?

As a bonus, this is what DALL-E spit out when I asked it to make a rendition of this event. Not bad?