#Magic8-ball

Somehow, the ATF keeps figuring out exactly where to find the line between safe, responsible gun ownership and catastrophic, utter chaos. They know that 16″ barrels are safe for rifles, while 12.5″ means the end of humanity. They know that if you want to use a 12.5″ barrel, you have to call it a pistol and put on a stock brace with a hole in it, and then you’re miraculously safe again. They know that putting a vertical foregrip on an AR pistol would instantly give you cancer in literally every part of your body, but angled grips can counteract those negative waves. Luckily they can help you stay cancer-free if you pay them an extra $200 to rename your gun a short-barreled rifle, and then vertical grips get mysterious ATF chemotherapy to become safe for you again. They know that sound suppressors can only keep your hearing safe if you pay them yet another $200 – otherwise, unfortunately, your granny living hundreds of miles away would almost certainly keel over with a massive heart attack while lovingly tending her gardenias. You do care about dear old Nana, don’t you?!