The Art Of The Russian Mall Ninja

    Remember Sulsa Do Corps handgun training? If you missed it, here is a video to refresh yourself. I found another video on Facebook of a Russian Mall Ninja who may have been taught the way of Sulsa Do Corps.

     

    Watch this cringe worthy video.

    The video is four solid minutes of a guy rolling around on the ground while aiming a handgun sideways.

    Russian mall ninja entering a barrel roll.

    According to Hrachya H.:

    In a nutshell: “All these drills are a result of hard working and hours of practicing. The reason he jumps up before going to prone is that most non-professional shooters will jerk the trigger and shoot lower. By jumping up he tries to avoid being hit by such shot.”. Then he goes on naming the different drills.

    I want to strongly believe that this video is a gag produced as serious as possible but made to be a big joke. But then we look back at Sulsa Do Corps.

    Then we have this group of tactical mall ninjas actually training with real firearms.

    Let’s take a closer look at the Russian Mall Ninja and his portfolio of moves. I understand the concept, I think. Move laterally to get out of the line of fire. Then ninja roll into a crouch so you are less of a target. And yet I think speed is missing here. The time it takes the Russian Mall Ninja to perform these moves seems to take an eternity by which he would have been shot. Although laughter and the sheer amazement of the clown act happening before the shooter could cause said shooter to miss?

    I am not entirely sure what is happening in this screen cap below. the Russian Mall Ninja is moving side to side with his gun held sideways. He rarely uses his support hand for actually supporting the handgun. Instead, he uses it to enter his ninja rolls.

     

    Let us not forget the spectacular rolling around in a circle technique. Maybe if he included this in some parkour tricks or a break dance routine it may be more effective.

    The Russian Superman pose is particularly hilarious. But how would you use this? I doubt anyone could anticipate a shot being fired so you would have to jump all the time every time. But that one time it works would be so worth it. LOL

     

    If the jumping into a Superman pose did not confuse you, then this will. I am really not sure what these series of shots were supposed to prove. To me, it looks like the Russian Mall Ninja just got shot in the leg or foot.

    Here is where the Sulsa Do Corp cross training shows when he rolls along the ground while aiming his handgun.

    Then the cherry at the top of this pile of fecal matter is when he gets fully ninja’d up and dons his face mask.

    This entire video seems like something a child would do to show off his elite tactical skills. Or someone who has been living in their parents’ basement for 30 some odd years. Somewhat like those videos of overweight men trying to perform cool ninja moves outside of their garage.

    I would really like to know who thought these moves were good enough to record on video, edit them and have voice over if it wasn’t meant as a joke.


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