Ladies and Gentleman – I stand here before you today and eulogize our dear friend Suppressor.
Suppressor was the strong and silent type.
Suppressor was a great Silencerco SWR can, who devoted his whole life to the protecting the ears of our beloved shooters. His strong tube took the repeated blows of our enemy – hot gasses – while faithfully allowing our partner bullets to exit and travel to their destinations without hindrance.
His years of tireless and faithful service are a testament to the quality of his character. Never too baffled by any problem, he was flexible, moving to weapon after weapon year over the years providing his underappreciated services. Sure, he had a little weight up front, but he always held the concentric line, never letting any errant round strike him down.
That was until July 6th, 2017. Suppressor was put to a challenge that no can could survive – cyclic fire on a belt-fed. Instead of twisting off, he held firm against the repeated explosive forces until the pressure finally won, overtaking his body and ending Suppressor in a flash of glory. Almost 300 rounds beat him down only cracking his strong facade, but the onslaught still came. At over 500, he gave all the strength he had and was ripped asunder.
Let us all look to Suppressors example of holding firm under times of great duress. May his sacrifice not be in vain. May we aspire to his service, his strength, and self-sacrifice. He will be remembered in a YouTube video eternal.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.