Gunsticles – For When You REALLY Have to Compensate

There was the Tactical Sack, AKA the Tac-Sac, and now there are the Gunsticles which take the whole firearms mounted scrotum to a whole new level – now with more swing. The new take on the old joke adds a ball ring to ensure the jokes on the shooter.

The Tac Sac was at least capable of masquerading as a legit firearm fondling foregrip, the Gunsticle Tactical Testicle is perhaps a solution in search of two very large problems. Instead of a rigid, perhaps erect option of the Tac Sac, the Gunstricles freely swing on your picatinny rail mount of choice. I would argue the Gunsticles need a bit more support. Boxer briefs at the least.

If you need to overcompensate (or let’s face it – get a rip-roaring blue elephant gift for the tac-tard in your life), head on over to where you can get your choice of scrotum in either free-balling form or in a ready-made patriotic sticker form.

The Gunsticles are available in either Dark Earth or Tactical Back. Stickers are in the good old red white and blue (poor Old Glory!). Picatinny mounted options are $19.95 with free shipping and the stickers start a single buck for the pair.

Details from Gunsticles:

The perfect accessory for the gun enthusiast! A great gift for yourself or a loved one, Gunsticles Tactical Testicles are a great way to make a trip to the range even more fun!

  • A glorious set of wonderful novelty balls to be admired by all of your friends, colleagues, and family members
  • Beautifully hand sculpted by an artisan and professionally injection molded
  • Compatible with all Picatinny and Weaver rail equipped rifle systems
  • Lightweight and Durable (3 oz.) with a subtle, soothing texture
  • Professionally designed attractive packaging that will make an impact on the recipient
  • Mounting Instructions and Safety Guide included
  • The perfect size to make a lasting impression
  • Designed for firearms, Airsoft, and paintball guns
  • Includes rail mount, magnificent Gunsticles scrotum, attachment ring, strong, heat resistant nylon set screw – designed to allow the Gunsticles to mount to a rail without damaging its cosmetic finish, and complimentary hex wrench – everything you need
  • Available in Tactical Black or Dark Earth colors.  Colors may vary slightly from illustrations.


TFB’s FNG. Completely irreverent of all things marketing but a passionate lover of new ideas and old ones well executed. Enjoys musing on all things firearms, shooting 3-gun, and attempting to be both tacticool AND tactical.


  • Jeff Heeszel

    What the what?

    • Edeco

      You should make Officer Bob use these when he shoots the shotgun at the gummy bear.

      • M.M.D.C.

        as a target

  • DW

    >A glorious set of wonderful novelty balls to be admired by all of your friends, colleagues, and family members
    some friends and family you have ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    >Beautifully hand sculpted by an artisan and professionally injection molded
    … Each are men-handled before leaving factory?!( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    >Lightweight and Durable (3 oz.) with a subtle, soothing texture
    soothing??? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    >Professionally designed attractive packaging that will make an impact on the recipient
    >Mounting Instructions and Safety Guide included
    Mounting instructions??? (° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    >The perfect size to make a lasting impression
    ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
    And it doesn’t support keymod, WTF, 1/10

    • Nashvone

      “Beautifully hand sculpted by an artisan”
      Somehow, I missed gonad sculptor at career day in high school.

  • Don Ward

    Can’t wait for the torture test video…

  • Beju
  • Edeco

    Now that there are two suppliers competition will lead to better gun genetalia at lower cost.

    • Xanderbach

      Sounds like we have another possible contender!

    • Waiting for the field test reviews.

      • Edeco

        Yup, need James Reeves to work out which one is more efficient.

    • Major Tom

      I’m guessing if we made a “gussy” or “gunt” or “gungina” perhaps as a holster we’d spark an angry mob?

      • JJ

        Then you’d have to make a penstol to fit in it. Think of the grip you could get on that thing!

        • Major Tom

          I don’t want to.

    • kb7rky

      GET ON IT!

    • misterveritas666

      There you go. Gunads. Go for it. Ain’t competition great?

    • noob

      if you sold a beanbag rest with an, uh, “appropriate” printed fabric cover, you could make a lot of money with that “gunads” name.

  • Gosh, I can’t imagine why a news media that knows nothing about guns thinks we’re all a bunch of morons.

    • Major Tom

      It’s called confirmation bias. They know nothing about guns so they assume everybody else knows nothing about guns then they write stories that say everybody else knows nothing about guns ergo gun owners are morons thus reinforcing their perceptions of gun owners in a feedback loop.

      Meanwhile the rest of the world slowly slinks away from these “people” going “Man, what idiots”.

      • Brett

        THIS. I am not one to push the wheel put it really grinds my gears when reporters and even media outlets report with no sources.

        • Major Tom

          Or worse when asked about sources refuse to give them to you. Even if why you’re asking is simply curiosity or double checking the science/history.

  • Mystick

    “For the ladies…”

  • Martin Grønsdal

    Tactical upended heart. Big deal

  • Iggy

    “And what do you do for a living?”
    “I sculpt novelty testic… um, chicken sexer! Yep, I sex chickens for a living.”

  • B-Sabre

    I got nothing.

  • A.WChuck

    Like clockwork. If something appears on Soldier Systems blog, it appears here one week later. Even click bait crap like this. SMH

  • Anonymoose

    I’ll wait for the Magnaported version for extra compensation.

  • Gary Kirk

    What’s next??? A suppressor shaped like a €#¢£

    • Porty1119

      I mean, I don’t see why not…

    • gunsandrockets

      Please, don’t give them any ideas…

      • Gary Kirk

        Was NOT my intent!!

        People need to grow up..

  • MrBrassporkchop

    How about 2 balls in a small Kevlar sack for better simulation. Maybe use those balls used in mechanical computer mice. Gotta find big ones though.

    Maybe have a sensor inside to detect cold temperatures to retract the balls when it’s cold.

    I’d pay for that.

    • Nashvone

      If you bump your balls against something your optic goes dark for a few minutes?

    • marathag

      Old Kensington trackballs. The ’90s ones were near the size of tennisballs

  • There should at least be the option for a fuzzy one.

  • mosinman

    Blue isn’t a color option?

  • USMC03Vet

    This is so sexist. Where muh range strange accessory?

  • Some Rabbit

    I’m sure female shooters will find the familiarity of that fore-grip provides the same control over “barrel rise” as it does when applied to their menfolk.

  • UCSPanther

    If I wanted something firearms-related to “compensate”, I would buy a rifle in something like .458 Winchester magnum…

  • John

    I was hoping this would have some actual value as a benchrest, then I saw it was dangling from a chain.


    • mazkact

      That would be the Tacsac, at least it can function as a forward grip.

  • Disarmed in CA

    Is there an accessory to mount this to an LCP?

  • Shankbone

    Is this the next step for Keymod?

  • plumber576

    How many more trucks will be castrated before this barbarism ends?!

  • Brett

    Hey, it uses a pic rail attachment point! Anyone else want to try and see where else we can stick them?

  • jonp

    Wow! Now I have a match for the bull balls hanging off the tow hitch on my pick up.
    I be stylin!
    you know, if they were made of steel or tungsten they would make a great last ditch weapon. Imagine beating someone to death with a set of tacticool balls

    • noob

      like a morning star – isolates you from the shock of impact due to the flexible link

  • uisconfruzed

    That’s retarded

  • Iblis

    How stupid!! Who in their right mind would want something like that on a rifle?

    • Realist

      A Gay Commando???

  • kb7rky


  • Justin

    Those look exactly like the ones in the photos James has been sending me!

  • Diver6106

    An ‘insult’ rifle? But is it California compliant?

  • Michael Smith

    The “author” of this (certainly not a “journalist”) must be a Rip Van Winkle, otherwise this story is a repeat from 1995.

  • misterveritas666

    Now everyone will be able to see what an ITG I am!

  • LazyReader

    What’s next the Gunt

  • Jay Nichols

    Ah yes, gunsticles, for scared little boys everywhere. If you buy these, you are worthless.

  • Dave Buck

    Did April Fools Day come around again already? Who on earth would want these?

  • really.really!really?


  • Mel Kimlinger

    Why would I want to put a part of Rachel Maddow’s anatomy on my gun?

  • Anthony Murphy

    Well, this makes sense. Seeing as the gun nuts in this country treat their guns as if they were their dicks.

  • Archie Montgomery

    Oh. Be still my heart.

    I can be first on my block…

  • Jason Bourne

    This falls in the same category as the Kimber K6s revolver… Fulfills a non-existent need…