The Champagne “Gun”

Its well established that I lament the continued fad of “tacticool”, but as much as I poke fun, the fad has a tendency to create some actually unique and interesting ideas (unlike the Tacti-Coozy).


However, I can say with absolute certainty and zero reservations that this Champagne Gun has gone too far and is decided “tacti-uncool” and fast approaching unmitigated buffoonery.


The Champagne Gun is a magnum-only sized champagne bottle holder resembling the Thompson SMG. It works with spouts or diffusers. Per the listing it is “completely harmless.”

The offerer touts three uses of the Champagne “Gun”

  • Champagne Showers: 16 to 23 feet spray for 45 seconds.
  • Champagne Service: An original accessory, elegant and exuberant to serve champagne
    Champagne Display: Beautiful and stylish decoration, to display any magnum of champagne on a bar or dining table, or can be use a a centerpiece

Sadly, none of those uses include “proving one is an absolute tool.”


The Champagne Gun is not for those on a beer budget. Offered at, the gun is on “sale” for $459 from a MSRP of $499. The “gun” is available in Gold, Rose Gold, and Chrome.

I believe that General Thompson would disapprove of this one.


Nathan S

One of TFB’s resident Jarheads, Nathan now works within the firearms industry. A consecutive Marine rifle and pistol expert, he enjoys local 3-gun, NFA, gunsmithing, MSR’s, & high-speed gear. Nathan has traveled to over 30 countries working with US DoD & foreign MoDs.

The above post is my opinion and does not reflect the views of any company or organization.


  • Mcameron

    soooooo…..its a Super-Soaker for rich people?……..

    • TheNotoriousIUD

      Its a super soaker for stupid people.

      • A.WChuck

        It’s a super soaker for strippers.

  • TheNotoriousIUD

    Way more interested in her guns than his.

    • John Yossarian

      So that’s why Arabs are always covering their women – Too damn hawt under there.

      • TheNotoriousIUD

        Looks Latina to me.


    So how do you make this into a flamethrower?

  • Lew Siffer

    I’m waiting for the headline “Police shoot hip-hop artist for pointing champagne bottle at them”

  • Jwedel1231

    “unmitigated buffoonery” might be too nice a word for what is featured in this article.

  • Suppressed

    Who the f#%k puts on a 3-piece suit but still decides to play it casual whilst not buttoning the shirt all the way up and foregoing the tie/bow tie?

    And why is that prostitute wearing lingerie in a nightclub?