5 Hilariously Bad Carry Guns

When it comes to self defense, having a gun is certainly better than not having one. That said, in this day and age there are certainly choices that are definitively bad. In this list we present 5 handguns that we believe are quite poor when it comes to personal protection.

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The full transcript is below …

– [Alex] Hey guys, it’s Alex C. with TFB TV and today’s video is gonna be Five Hilariously Bad Concealed Carry Guns.

As you can see right now on the screen, there is a flintlock pistol.

Now flintlock pistols are single-shot and black powder.

I really like black powder firearms, however, I believe they are just about the worst firearm you could carry these days.

I don’t think anybody ever would, but that doesn’t make it any less hilarious or pertinent to this video.

Of course, to load one of these, you pull back the hammer to half-cock, put enough powder in your measure, typically, in this pistol, I put about 60 or 70 grains because go big or go home.

Then you gotta pour it down the muzzle, put a patched lead ball down, don’t forget you’ve got your ramrod that you have to use repeatedly to ram everything down, open up your frizzen, prime with some quadruple Fg powder like I do, I guess you don’t have to, bring it to full cock and then you’re ready to put a 12-inch diameter hole in the bad guy, one time of course.

Like I said, I doubt anybody does this these days, however, that would be a pretty bad choice unless you’re trying to make a hell of a smokescreen, in which case, this pistol actually meets the bill.

If you shoot a bad guy and you miss, then the giant smokescreen produced by the black powder cloud in front of you, it’s gonna give you time to get away and maybe get halfway through the loading process before he hits you in the head with a bat.

So the next pistol is actually gonna be six times better than the flintlock, which still doesn’t bring it quite up to par, and that’s gonna be a cap and ball revolver.

I also really like cap and ball revolvers, however, I also like Ford Model Ts.

That doesn’t mean I’m gonna carry one of these.

It doesn’t I’m gonna daily drive a Model T.

For those of you that don’t really know how these work, they’re pretty typical of a modern single-action revolver when you actually have it loaded in your shooting.

This is actually safe right here ’cause there’s not caps on the revolver nor or any of its cylinder or chambers loaded up but to accomplish this, you’re going to, well, I use a little loading station but your choice of black powder, I usually use double Fg poured in there, then you’ve got your patches, and then you’ve got your balls, and you’re going to use the rammer on the front of the gun to ram that down and do that six times, and then you’ve got a fully loaded revolver.

So, not practical for reloading, but you’ve got five more shots than the old flintlock.

And of course, don’t forget once you’ve loaded the chambers, you actually do have to add a percussion cap to each of the nipples located on the back of the cylinder.

Otherwise, you’ve pretty much got nothing, so this would be a hilariously bad concealed carry choice but I guess it would be better than nothing.

So next we have a pistol that is probably the best one on the list.

That’s going to be C96 Mauser Broomhandle pistol.

You could, I guess, technically conceal these if you’re a big person and you had some sort of strange holster or, I don’t know yet, carrying it in a shoulder holster with a jacket but the issue here is actually working the pistol.

They’re very cumbersome, they’re hard to reload.

You have 10 shots of actually pretty stout ammunition but it’s hilariously over-sized and that would make it absolutely ridiculous to concealed carry in a market when you have $300 subcompact pistols but if you do carry a Schnellfeuer M712, you will get my respect because that would be just awesome.

So, next we’ve got something that actually some people do and that’s to be concealed carrying a full-sized.22 pistol.

I have actually seen this.

Now I don’t really have any opposition to carrying a subcompact.22 pistol like this Smith & Wesson 61-3 on the bottom, but to put it into perspective, let’s overlay it on the Ruger MK III, and it is a subcompact pistol whereas a full size is about the size of a Browning Hi-Power, making it a colossally huge gun and if you’re gonna carry a big gun, why not carry a gun that fires a larger cartridge more suitable for self-defense, but that’s just me, so let’s move on to what I might consider actually the most dangerous option on the list, and that’s going to be the Type 94 Nambu.

Not only are these hilariously ugly pistols that look like they were made with a grinder and a file, well, actually they might have actually been made with a grinder and a file towards the end of the war, but everything on these is pretty bad.

They’re horribly small pistols, at least for me.

I’m fairly big guy with decently large hands, but they function very strangely, they fire a very anemic cartridge.

It’s about.32 ACP, maybe a little in between 32 and 38.

They have a bolt hold open but it’s actually the magazine follower, so when you move the magazine, it slams home.

But, the Achilles heel of this is actually that they can fire when you press the transfer bar on the side.

The safety is actually, only blocks the transfer bar.

I’ll demonstrate that right here.

(gunshot) So pretty dangerous.

There is actually a chance that on re-holstering, you could knock this into something, and it would go off, but yeah, so I won’t be carrying the Type 94 Nambu for any reason anytime soon, except maybe to ridicule in a future video.

Anyways, guys, I’m Alex C. with TFB TV.

This is a little bit different kind of video but I still home you enjoyed it.

Really just kind of a subjective opinionated thing, but nonetheless, we’d like to thank Ventura Munitions, and Grizzly Targets.

We hope to see you next time.

Alex C.

Alex is a Senior Writer for The Firearm Blog and Director of TFBTV.


  • TheNotoriousIUD

    Took my Star Wars nerd GF to Collectors Firearms in Houston and pointed out how a modified Mauser was Han Solos blaster and she almost bought one to carry in her purse.

    • MrSatyre

      That’s a big ass purse!

      • Anonymoose

        I have a friend whose mom carries a 6″ nickel-plated Colt Python in her purse. No joke.

        • TheNotoriousIUD

          My mom used to carry the same thing back in the late 80’s. Not kidding.
          She only recently switched to a Walther PK380.

        • Darkpr0

          I have carried my 6″ S&W several times. It’s not so bad if you get used to pulling your belt up every three seconds.

          I also saw a guy who was open carrying a cap-and-ball revolver in Cabela’s. That was pretty… interesting.

          • Nathan Alred

            That’s a convicted felon who thinks he will avoid the “felon in possession” rap because it’s “not a firearm.”

          • Jim_Macklin

            I carry a first generation Colt Officers model 45 ACP. All steel and it is been modified with improved sights, trigger, grip and ambi-thumb safety.
            Since it has limited magazine capacity I usually carry 5 spare magazines.
            I do wish that I could know in advance just how many bad people I might face. There needs to be a law to require advance notice. Of course that would be as silly as most gun laws.
            The worst carry gun, with the exception Alaska, is a 4″ S&W or Ruger 480 or 454, or a 460.. At least the 360 or 454 can be loaded with plain 45 Colt. But then you’re back to 45 ACP.

          • Isaac FluffyWolf Rader

            I dunno. I might need those revolvers back home in New Hampshire. I get bears on the lawn all the time.

          • dltaylor51

            The Colt 45 auto is the best,the round was specifically made to be a man stopper.I use military ball ammo in mine because i want the bullet hole to bleed out both sides not just the front one.

          • Jim_Macklin

            I prefer JHP because they do dump more disruptive energy into the water filled internal organs. That reduces the danger to any person that might be hit by a bullet that goes all the way through and maybe deflected so it hits off to one side or the other.

          • iksnilol

            There’s so much wrong with that comment. O_o

            I really hope you don’t need to use your gun.

          • dltaylor51

            What are you one of Barry’s liberals?

          • iksnilol

            You use ball ammo because you want it to bleed from both ends? Hollow points are more effective than ball ammo. That’s been proven countless times. More “stopping power” and less risk to bystanders. Really, it is common courtesy.

            That and you claimed the heavy 230 grain .45 acp is a penetrator. No, no it isn’t. It can’t even shoot through a millitary helmet. Try shooting it at a windshield (knowing somebody with a scrap yard helps). A big and slow bullet is the antithesis to penetrator. To penetrate well you need velocity.

          • supergun

            My comment to you above was in reference to thinking you were against guns. If you are not, then my mistake.

          • dltaylor51

            He’s not against guns i can tell he reads about them all the time but hasn’t spent much trigger time but he knows it all.

          • supergun

            Thanks. Always enjoy other people’s opinions. The only exception is if they are stupid against guns.

          • dltaylor51

            I have found that people that are stupid against guns are usually stupid on most everything else.

          • supergun

            You sound like a wise Grandpa. I still like my Cor Bonn 165 grain 45. Better than 40s but not 10mm. That 10 mm goes through a lot of stuff. The FBI/Secret Service switched from the 10mm because they would getting to close to the White House for comfort.

          • dltaylor51

            The 40 cor bonn will smack the daylights out of just about anything it hits but you have to carry lots of ammo because finding 10mm is near impossible and 40 cor bonn is worse.Friend of mine and I were camped outside of Butte Mont.and he fired off all of his 357 Sig we went to town to get more and the gun guy said”I never knew they made such a round” so keep that in mind if you get to far from home.

          • supergun

            Yes indeed the 40 is an awesome bullet. Love that bullet. Just love the 1911 and the legend that it is. My Smith-n-Wesson M&P shoots the 357 and 40. That way when I run out of the 357, I just change barrels to the bad boy 40,,,,with the Desert Eagle 1911 45 hanging in my pants for backup. The 357 is interesting: 9mm in a 40 cal. casing. Just like the 300 Blackout: A 308 in a 5.56 casing. Only in America.

          • dltaylor51

            I dont know is you are aware that the 180 gn bullet that you use in your 40 is exactly the same as the bullet used in the 38-40(38 WCF) Win.model 1892 lever action rifle and the Colt peacemaker plus it is the same velocity,1000 fps,I cast my own at .401 and in my 20″ saddle ring carbine this round is ferocious.40 is a fine caliber.

          • supergun

            I did not know that. Thanks for sharing that. I had a hi point 40 cal carbine just to toy around with. Shooting the 40 cal. out of that carbine actually made it more like a 10mm in the velocity arena. Also, you don’t see 40 cal plus p ammo like you do the 9mm and 45 cap. I would like to get a 10mm either in the Glock or the EAA. What do you think?

          • dltaylor51

            I have a couple of high point carbines a40 and a9mm,i keep them in my jeep and for the money they are the best gun bargain of the century plus they’re life time guaranteed.I’ve run thousands of rounds through mine with cast bullets and cant ever remember a failure to feed or eject,when I’m done shooting I spray them out with W-D 40 and blow them out with an air hose and they are spotless and ready to go several hundred more rounds..

          • supergun

            They are the best kept secret in America. Great truck gun. I sold my 40 and I miss it already. It really turns the 40 into a bad boy. Pretty dang accurate up to a hundred or more yards. Thinking I need to get another one. 40 or 45? I heard the 40s are better. You right about the W-D 40. Hard to break these babies down. Just spray and blow, lol.

          • dltaylor51

            Look at the rifling in your high point some time with a magnifier,there are very few guns on earth at any price that have as nice and smooth a rifling,i was shocked,I fire cast bullets through mine exclusively and have never had the slightest hint of any leading sticking to the rifling.A lot of guys use gun blast to douche out their hi points but i like WD better because it dissolves the last WD that might still be in there and replaces it with new,Gun blast removes all the lubrication and leaves the action dry so you have to re lube again so i just skip that nastiness and do it all at one time and then blow out any excess.i do the same with my auto pistols and it works great.

          • supergun

            Cool. Thanks for that valuable info. I read about the bore guide gun cleaning that you should use. It was an interesting article. I am going to invest into a decent bore guide gun cleaning kit for my rifles. I have 3 ARs that I need to break in for the first time. One shot then clean, 2 shots, then clean, 3 shots, then clean, 4 shots then clean.

          • iksnilol

            I am not against guns, I just like being objective and “modern” in a sense. That is using HPs and not choosing rounds because they follow an antiquated convention of “stopping power”.

          • supergun

            Thanks for the clarification.

          • supergun

            We never want to use our guns ever. That is why we carry. The difference between you and us is, we will be alive and you will be dead if a hoodlum assaults any of us. Think about that long and hard. It is not the ODDS~~~~It is what is at STAKE.

          • supergun

            Eactly. I was looking at my bullets the other night, 9mm, 40 and 45, and that 45 is one big ugly mother.

          • dltaylor51

            Its big and slow and if you are shooting in the right kind of light you can actually see the bullet flying through the air.

          • supergun

            All I see is FIRE coming out. By the way, my Core Bonn 165 grain 45s travel close to 1,200 feet at the muzzle with over 500 lbs of energy. If you call that slow,,,,,,,,,,,I’m just sayinggggggg.

          • dltaylor51

            I only carry my 45 for self defense so the 230rn at 785 is all i use,if i need 1200fps i grab my 10mm.I have a desert eagle 44mag that pushes a 240gn.bullet at over 1500fps and is sweet to shoot but its like carrying a ham under your coat so i prefer the 1911 platform due to its slimmer size.

          • supergun

            Thou shall not infringe on ditaylor51’s 2nd Amendment. Love it.

          • dltaylor51

            At 64yrs i own and have owned a lot of guns and any time some liberal A hole wants to have a”discussion” about my second amendment rights i figure whats there to discuss?I have them the libs want to take them and there is nothing to discuss because I’m not caving in.I only hope that the young bucks coming up are even more passionate about their gun rights than us old guys are and we’re pretty damn passionate about them.Sometimes i feel that the lefty’s are just biding their time waiting for the old guard to die off and then they will make their play,dont let them get away with it.

          • supergun

            Not too far behind you. America is a sleeping giant. Looks like it is waking up. But who knows what the future will be for the 2nd. It is viciously attacked daily by anti-Americans. Many guns are being sold as we comment. As one patriot to another someone once told me, “If the 2nd falls, then the rest will follow”. Don’t want to be around for that battle.

          • dltaylor51

            There ain’t much you cant fix with $25 and a 30-06 and when the enemy is at the gate hand me my 308 so six of one and a half dozen of the other,I’d go 06 though just out of respect for the elderly.You are absolutely right about if the 2nd falls,its like the canary in the mine shaft.There are so many guns in this country its like the lefty’s are trying to close the barn door after the horses got out so their unspoken intent has to be confiscation because even if they stopped the mfg.of all new guns tomorrow we could go for the next 10 century’s and still not run out of guns and the American public would still be the largest self armed standing army on planet earth.

          • supergun

            My favorite is the 308, but I love the 30-06 also. So close alike. Either one will do the job. The only reason we have the remaining FREEDOM that we have today is because of the 2nd Amendment. It is stronger than anyone ever thought. Hate to say it, but there would be a war over that 1 Amendment. If they thought the green tips was bad, it would be kindergarten against the 2nd. There are millions of guns out here, and billions of bullets. If the anti-Americans think the Americans are going to give that up,,,,,well,,,,,that is a deep subject.

          • supergun

            45 still king of the hill. But I prefer my Sig SAS 9mm P-938 to carry over my XDs 45. That 5 and half oz. difference is nice.

          • Anonymoose

            That’s what suspenders are for, kiddo!

          • Replica LeMat revolver could be pretty handy. One barrel of one round of 20 gauge buckshot. Other barrel nine rounds of 44.

        • Jwedel1231

          That’s an expensive piece to be carrying everyday. I like it, I would just switch to a non-collector’s item.

        • Realist

          She must have one arm the size of Popeye’s…

        • dltaylor51

          I sometimes carry my 6” Python concealed and will gladly put up with its size because its the king of revolvers so if that gal can get it into her purse she’s good for a hundred yard head shot.

          • B Hawk

            That 100 yard head shot better be on a 4-legged creature, because anything over about 10 yards on a human, will get you locked up for a LONG time!

          • dltaylor51

            Not if he’s an active shooter gunning down innocent people,it would be criminal not to take him out.

          • dltaylor51

            By the way its seven yards if the guy has a knife and unlimited yardage if the guy is shooting at you with a rifle and you’re pinned down with no avenue of escape.

      • TheNotoriousIUD

        You could carry an M4 in that thing.

        • This. Do this.

          • TheNotoriousIUD

            Dude, I was in Walmart thanksgiving night Xbox shopping and the thought occurred to me.

          • JK

            Never what? Go to Walmart? Got it. If you went on Thanksgiving night, or Black Friday, that’s purely on you.

          • TheNotoriousIUD

            I’m aware.

    • Josh

      how about the stormtrooper blaster, a sterling submachine gun

      • Major Tom

        Nah man, a stormtrooper heavy blaster repeater like the one guy has in A New Hope. It’s only an (unmodified) MG-34.

        Or maybe the one the Imperials had at Hoth on a tripod which was only an (unmodified) MG-42.

        Or maybe we should go for some Rebel weapons, the ones based off the STG-44 or M-16 should do.

        • Bayonet

          You missed the important one.

          Lewis gun.

          • Major Tom

            Damn, I did.

        • Sianmink

          go big or go home.

    • BattleshipGrey

      She sounds like a keeper Notorious!

      • TheNotoriousIUD


    • M C

      If it’s good enough for Han Solo…..

      Just make sure you fire first.

      • TheNotoriousIUD

        Right on.

  • Don Ward

    Glock doesn’t make the list? Much fail.

    *Runs away laughing maniacally”

    • Vitsaus

      Glocks are only dangerous when drawing from a holster, or when pulling the trigger. Sometimes to two actions overlap.

      • Jwedel1231

        Or when reholstering.

        • JK

          I chamber a round after the pistol’s out of the holster… like the IDF… 🙂

          • Simcha M.

            Gam ani……………

  • MrSatyre

    The Gyrojet gun needs to be on this list, too.

    • Rock or Something

      Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

    • dltaylor51

      I just saw a 50 pack of gyro jet rounds on gun broker for $2400 so yes it defiantly belongs on the no list.

  • Riot

    3:50 – it looks bigger
    And yes carrying a broomhandle is badass

    • Hillary

      I carry a broomhandle. Not a pistol, just the handle of a broom. Won’t tell you where I conceal it. 😉

  • Jwedel1231

    Shouldn’t this be called the “Bottom 5”, not the “Top 5 Worst”???

    • JK

      “5 Least Good”

      • manBear

        5 Good … Leastest?

  • Joey JoJo Jr.

    I carried a Ruger MKII in a shoulder rig for a few months…because it was the only pistol I owned at the time, therefore it was better than nothing.
    Now, happily, I have more options.

    • dltaylor51

      Last time i checked 22 + 22=44.

  • Vitsaus

    A more serious version would be nice. Obviously a cap and ball gun would suck, or a pistol version of the PTR91, etc.. but how about stirring things up by making a list of reasonable options that you feel are inferior. Commonly carried stuff rather than simply outdated technology.

    • Not only is that a good idea, but it’s a great way to piss a lot of people off! Lol.

      But realistically, I am not sure that I would be the most qualified person to take on that list. I have carried one pistol for 6 years and I have no desire to change it. If you’ll notice, most of my stuff is long guns because I simply don’t enjoy shooting handguns.
      James is a pistol guy though so he might be the best man for that job.

      • John

        >Not only is that a good idea, but it’s a great way to piss a lot of people off! Lol.

        Would you use a Hi-Point as a concealed carry pistol. Yes or no?

        • If I needed a pistol and I could not afford a better option, absolutely.

        • dltaylor51

          I would carry a hi point and not think twice about it,just make sure you put at least 500 rounds through it first so you get used to the horrible trigger and the rest of the gun is good and settled in.

          • hi points, cobras work very well if you use the ammo listed in the manual and clean and oil the gun on a periodic basis.

            Why people insist on using ammo for guns that the gun is not rated for or the ammo was not available when the gun was made?

          • dltaylor51

            You’re absolutely right about having the right ammo for the gun,a 45 ACP needs a 230gnrn,a 40 S&W needs a 180gn round nose,a 9mm needs a 115rn and there is a specific fps load for each one,people forget that auto pistols have recoil springs that need a certain amount of energy to operate properly and if the powder charge and bullet weight are not harmonious with the springs then things are out of balance.To light of spring and to heavy a bullet causes slide to ram into the frame damaging the gun,to light of bullet causes slide not to come back far enough to eject and load so again out of balance.Revolvers dont care what you put in them they always go off and revolve to the next hole but autos are way more fussy about what you feed them.

  • derpmaster

    Top 5 hilariously bad carry guns? My list would be:

    Kel tec PF9
    Kel tec P11
    Kel tec P3AT
    Kel tec P32

    • JK


    • SirOliverHumperdink

      Hey! I have a p32 that’s pretty much been flawless. I know that’s rare, but keltecs are like american cars and women, every now and then, and it is rare, you get a good one.

      • Cymond

        We probably have 300-ish rounds through my wife’s P32 with only 1 or 2 light primer strikes.

        However, she hates it for being too small and light to shoot comfortably. After looking at every 380 at Palmetto State Armory, she decided she wants a Sig P238. It’s a bit bigger and twice as heavy, but she shot it well.

    • manBear

      Have carrier 2/5 of these … agree totally. Said screw it to the micro-carry junk … Switched over to the G17 and never looking back 🙂

  • michael franklin

    You must have really run out of things to write about…what, no 105 mm howitzer?

  • mosinman

    this is my carry peice. I use to carry a .45 but it’s all about the stopping power so i made the switch

    • TJbrena

      You didn’t upload a picture, so I’m left to assume based on your name you CC a Mosin. Possibly an Obrez.

      • JK

        Took a moment for the link to clear customs.

      • mosinman

        good guess

    • iksnilol

      I just can’t get over how bad photoshop that is.


      • mosinman

        This one may be photoshopped, but I assure you that these types of guns are real

        • iksnilol

          I know they’re real, I just really hate that picture. Just a pet peeve after working with Photoshop for a while.

          • jcitizen

            My cousin used to carry a cut 22 rifle that looked similar. He took it to school to keep the gangs off of him. His parents never knew – he found it in an alley and modified it himself. Say what you will, but he never had to kill anyone until he got into a tussle with the East Germans on the iron curtain border when he was in a special mech armor unit.

          • dltaylor51

            Whiner,point out the discrepancy’s or shut up.

          • iksnilol

            Simple, the light angle is all wrong.

            Considering I work with photoshop daily this is a thing I know (and avoid).

          • dltaylor51

            Could have fooled me.

          • iksnilol

            Just look at the grip and what angle the light falls on the grip compared to the rest of the gun (especially the cutout on the handguard).

    • dltaylor51

      You pull that thing out and the even most determined bad guy is going to poop his dress.You need to hang a laser on it so you can hip shoot.

      • mosinman

        Nyet tovarish! rifle is fine )))

  • MR

    Recently read an Op/Ed piece where the author promoted carrying a 22lr revolver instead of a centerfire semi-auto. Of course, they also claimed you could use 22 short ammo for cheap practice, so they may have simply been stuck in the 1950s.

    • iksnilol

      Could you please link to that piece?

  • Vhyrus

    No deagle? No jennings? I am disappoint

  • UnrepentantLib

    The reason the flintlock pistol has that big brass piece on the bottom of the grip is because you don’t reload it. After you shoot it you grab it by the barrel, charge through the smoke cloud and swing it like a club. I think most of the cap and ball pistols were sold with spare cylinders so you had a spare that was loaded and you could switch them out, though I suspect this was fairly difficult when galloping across the Texas plains with a band of Comanche on your tail. The Broomhandle Mauser, though, is still my weapon of choice when the zombie hordes invade the city. Well, as back up to an M240.

    • Swarf

      Hell On Wheels is a great show for many reasons, but chief among them for me was a gunfight in the first (I think) season that hinged on a cylinder change of a cap-and-ball pistol. I am a simple man.

      Dat realism, tho.

  • Patriot Gunner

    Didn’t know I could put a “12 inch diameter hole in a bad guy”

    • JK

      See the “alternative to a fixed ammo recoilless rifle” from the SCAMP thread

  • derfelcadarn

    The most hilarious thing about this video is that they wasted the time to do it. LAME !

  • Yeahyayee

    Gold deagle for the win

  • Mike Washburn

    Re: bad carry guns…..check all that apply.
    0 inane
    0 pointless
    o ludicrous
    o so what?

  • Cymond

    S&W 500 with the full 12″ barrel, makes the C96 Mauser look dainty
    AR-15 pistol, for when a S&W 500 isn’t enough

    • Sam P

      An AR-57 pistol, when less than 50 round magazines are not enough.

      • Cymond

        Crazy enough, I recently looked at those uppers for an ongoing pistol build. I’m submitting paperwork soon on a Mask HD, and I also have an exotic pet that can be scared to death by loud noises. She’s our sweet baby, so obviously a suppressed gun would be preferable to keep for defense.
        But I could buy another suppressor for the price of one of those uppers.

  • Lance

    Well If I could add some it be a IMI Desert Eagle, or a IMI MFR in 45-70!

  • huntman

    There’s actually a movie in which Our Hero carried a concealed Mauser Broomie. It was called “The Second Best Secret Agent in the World,” a lark parody of James Bond. The agent carried the gun in a special holster that held it parallel to his back; he accessed it as one would access a small of back holster, only reaching up. I suppose you could call it a big of back holster.

  • gunsandrockets

    Don’t dis the muzzle loader! Go Howdah, when you really need to stop that tiger. Literally, a tiger.

    • gunsandrockets

      Five hours and still waiting for my link to post!

      • gunsandrockets

        19 hours and still waiting for my link to post!

  • MrEllis

    Nicely done, sir, nicely done.

  • Trey

    All good (bad) choices..

    Nagant m-1895 would be a good 6th choice.

    • Why the Nagant? It was used by millions worldwide as their carry gun because the thing worked in cold weather unlike most western revolvers.

      • Trey

        Mediocre power at best bad double action glacial reloads.

  • Travis

    For concealed carry self defense, I look no further than the MK23 with suppressor and LAM. It’s only half as long as my leg and twice as heavy!

  • Martin M

    Any AR pistol.
    Any Desert Eagle, with or without extended barrel.

  • Anomanom

    LOL, I used to know a guy who actually did carry a flintlock pistol (or possibly a percussion pistol) as as “concealed” carry weapon. By way of business, he spent a lot of time at places like comic/gaming conventions and renaissance fairs. When in costume, he would carry a functional (modern) flintlock, loaded, as part of his costume in case of self-defense. It fit in with his costume, and the environment, so no one ever noticed.

    • BigFED

      @Anomanon – Ironically, it may have been because under Federal and many state laws, those ld pistols/revolvers are not considered “firearms” and not subject to regulations. DEPENDS on just which BP gun an state law.

      • AlDeLarge

        Some of the Open Carry Texas guys would carry black powder pistols/revolvers openly at their protests for that reason.

  • Brian M

    Wow. these are all hilariously bad. I have a few honorable mentions.

    5. Duck’s Foot Pistol. Four shots, black powder flintlock with the lovely ability to fire thrice again before reloading, psyche! Four barrels all going off at once in different directions to the degree the safest place to stand when it’s firing is dead in front of it.
    4. Pepperbox. Roughly contemporaneous with the black powder cap & ball revolver, with even a few pinfire conversions, and what’s more there’s no cyllinder gap. What’s the catch? No sights, not that they’d prove useful on this kind of thing. World’s worst balance, thanks to having however many full length barrels are handing off the end. Terrible reloads, as par for the course. At least not all of them force you to manually rotate the barrels. But what’s worst of all? All the barrels can go off at once due to no kind of safety whatsoever.
    3. Borschardt C93. The first pistol ever made, featuring an anemic 30 caliber round, a long fixed barrel, a bulbous toggle at the rear which must be manually worked to ready the weapon, and best of all, a ninety degree flat brick grip sure to guarantee your cramp your wrist and get beaten in the forearm by the toggle every time you pull the trigger.
    2. Wheellock pistol. It’s even worse than centerfire, rimfire, pinfire, cap, flintlock, and matchlock. Literally the only worse ignition system than this is to have to manually stick something burning in there yourself while trying to aim. And this system? The first duel fought with pistols was with wheellocks. No weapons succeeded in even going off, but they did have a 100% missfire rate.
    1. Desert Eagle. You knew there could be no other way. No other handgun has both the ludicrousness of the Desert Eagle that isn’t offset by some kind of novelty value like essentially being a shorty AK in need of an SBR stamp, and celebrity to match the Desert Eagle. Go ahead, name one other truly outrageous handgun that stands equal with the Deagle (I’m going to hell for that one, aren’t I?) What’chya got? Bren Ten? Smith & Wesson 500? Smith & Wesson 629 as used by Dirty Harry? Taurus Judge? HAHAHAHAH! Now name one of those that anybody who isn’t a gunnie already wouldn’t be able to just identify on sight. That’s what I thought. The Desert Eagle, especially in trademark 50AE, is a mad beast with a hefty price tag and doesn’t walk anywhere. Try carrying a Desert Eagle. Just remember $1600 of handcannon will die to $80 of Lorcin.

    • B-Sabre

      There are some Japanese matchlock pistols that were designed for “kimono carry”. Somehow the idea of carrying a burning fuse inside a silk garment doesn’t seem terribly smart.

      “That’s one smokin’ kimono, bro.”

      • AlDeLarge

        Smoking jackets are usually made of silk, for its resistance to smoldering ash.

  • Isaac FluffyWolf Rader

    I’ve seen people nearly shoot themselves when they tape themselves firing a Nambu.

  • JimBob

    Still waiting for the hilarious part.

  • I still carry a Mark I concealed sometimes. A decent gun if you have to fire one handed without using sights as it points well with your finger. It is very hard to accidentally disconnect your magazine. If I ever get mugged by a chipmunk, they are in for a world of hurt.

  • marathag

    ” they’re hard to reload”

    Why do so many TFB people have problems with stripper clips?

  • gunsandrockets

    I wonder if anyone ever tried concealed carrying something like a 30-30 Thompson Contender.

  • jefferis

    without photos in the article, it is hard to know what you are talking about….

  • dltaylor51

    I would not want to have to carry any of those guns shown for self defense BUT if of any those guns were all i had i certainly would.I sometimes carry my AMT automag 22 magnum loaded with 40gn Win.supper X copper jacked bullets and never feel the least bit undergunned,it offers low recoil,high speed,slim design,extreme accuracy and excellent sights but its very loud for its size.The AMT automag was designed by the maker around the Win.supper X 40gn.round and anything else will give you some feeding and ejecting problems so know that before you go out and buy one otherwise they run flawlessly.

  • Zebra Dun

    These are somewhat not the best for CCW.
    I did know a fellow who carried a percussion reproduction two shot brass looking barrel derringer.
    We framed houses back then and he was the saw man, while it was silly to carry I would not have wanted to brace him that little pistol fired every time I saw him take it out and shoot it.
    I believe it was a .36 caliber.
    The most ridiculous I have carried is a Garcia Brescia .25 acp I inherited from my dear old Aunt Mary 5 feet tall and 95 lbs dripping wet she could shoot that little pistol accurate as hell I would reserve it for a close contact weapon if I was serious about carrying one.
    The old saying, One shot to the face to blind them and one shot in each knee then run away is the tactics.
    My Aunt Mary the one time I saw her almost use it was on on her sister’s, my other dear old Aunt’s idiot ex-husband who came by making trouble, she screwed that li’l bass turd into his ear and dropped the safety.
    I recall being about 8 at the time waiting for his head to explode like those turtles she used to pop that stole her bait while fishing.
    She didn’t shoot him and that was the last time I ever saw the man.
    Good video, good info.

  • deanguilberry

    I will pass on that last gun. The last gun on the list that can fire from touching the side to me is nothing more than a novelty paper weight.

    I would leave the gun on my desk or in a frame on the wall and the mags locked in the safe. I may put one or two rounds in it just to see it be stupid but I would not load this thing full even at a safe bench shooting environment.

    I do not do stupid guns that just go off or don’t go off when you NEED them to.
    I heard a saying that nothing is louder than a bang when you expect a click or a click when you expect a bang. Some say they remember the click when NEEDING a bang as the most pronounced noise they have heard.
    I am fortunate enough to have heard a click when expecting a band but only at a range or hunting, never in a critical situation.

  • george ashmore

    They used to come with a combination shoulder stock / holster. Big pistol, small carbine.

  • Phil

    derpmaster: You list the KelTec PF9 as a bad gun…..I own maybe 50 handguns and carried for over 40 years in law enforcement and the military….I usually carry either the Glock 43 or PF9 now for personal use….The PF9 in a wonderfull little gun and 100% reliable with American made ammo…..lots of rookies cannot tolerate the recoil, but anyone with pracice can learn to handle it….the PF9, Glock 43 and Ruger LC9s are the top CCW backup guns for law enforcment….we all carry them now….

  • Matt Wilder

    I carry a post-war P38 (yes, it’s a P38 as marked, not a P1). It’s not as bad as you may think. Yes, it’s wide, it’s long, and it may not be considered by anyone normally, however I don’t have a problem with it. But then again, I never had a problem with a full sized 1911, or a Luger either when carried on my person. Even thought a few times it might be fun to carry my Colt Navy cap and ball, but here in the humid climate of Fl, it’s almost certainly a no-go.

    Oh, and I use a Sauer 38h as my back-up. I know, I’m a little weird, but they both work every time, so I’d much rather use what I know functions flawlessly than rely on something I don’t know crud from beans about.

  • Mikial

    I’m assuming this entire article is just a bad joke.

  • scaatylobo

    You totally forgot the GyroJet !!!.
    I would say that is much higher on that list than the S/A percussion revolver.

  • Rocketman

    I don’t know about the single shot flintlock. The intimidation factor on a bad guy starring down the bore of a .69 cal muzzle should be worth at least something.

  • Twilight sparkle

    I actually considered carrying a black powder derringer before I turned 21 because it’s technically not a firearm and gun is better than no gun. I decided not to because that’s too much of a grey area if I ever needed to use it…

  • Dave Hotaling

    I carry my 1847 walker colt replica in the woods defiantly to big at about 20″ overall length to carry concealed and most people think is a Ruger Black Hawk with a 10 in barrel when the see it holstered

  • BigFED

    Kind of a pointless article. At the time these guns were “popular”, concealed carry was not much of a consideration. FYI, Winston Churchill is supposed to have used on of those Mauser C96 during the Boer War and was quite fond of it!

  • Firehand

    There was a British spy movie made in the ’60’s, ‘The 2nd Best Secret Agent in the Whole Wide World’ where the lead character carried a Broomhandle in a holster that fitted across his lower back.

  • Trey

    As a nagant owner I will contend that the double action is about as bad as any ever made.

    the you need to aim better was the excuse for the single shot mode of the 1903 … not persuasive

  • Jason Lewis

    That first one is what Hilary will allow us to carry when she’s elected.