The New Baby Glock 4

Mr. Gaston Glock, 84, and Kathrin Glock, 33, are expecting a child, according to the Society section of Krone Zeitung (Google Translated with some manual corrections) …

It is the cutest baby rumor on the Society parquet. Supposedly Kathrin Glock 33, shall make her 84 – year-old husband Gaston the quadruple father (he’s got three kids already). Over ten years ago, they got to know each other, then married romantically three years ago – and now offspring is to announce.

The “crown” has demanded, and it was said in the recent official statement: “The Glock family is not making any comments about this message.” What could be a clear indication that it is indeed true, otherwise the family would have denied adamantly. This is also suggested that the new love nest of Glocks in Kärnten, near the home of Kathrin’s family, is currently being built eagerly. Whether the family has probably planned a nursery?

Even the sweet secret can not be seen in any case, because Ms. Glock appeared to be slimmer than ever during her last event in the Glock Horse Performance Center in Treffen bei Villach in addition to fitness queen Jane Fonda, 76, and supermodel Naomi Campbell, 44. One can so stay and watch excited …

Gaston has three children with his former wife Helga Glock. Helga and his offspring, who have been reportedly disinherited, have a number of court cases pending against him. The Game of Glocks continue …

Thanks to Axel for the tip.

Steve Johnson

Founder and Dictator-In-Chief of TFB. A passionate gun owner, a shooting enthusiast and totally tacti-uncool. Favorite first date location: any gun range. Steve can be contacted here.


  • The Hun

    Looks like the old man ain’t shootin’ blanks.

    • JumpIf NotZero

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the ammo was actually supplied by the yoga instructor.

      Or it’s a science-baby.

    • Sulaco

      At 84 I am surprised he can still hold the pistol…..

      • MrApple

        The magic of Viagra.

  • Rusty Shackleford

    Wow. Gaston Glock is an even bigger douche than people make him out to be.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Oh Rusty…

    • samcolt

      Joe D?

    • MrApple

      But his firearms are great so he can keep being a douche all day as far as I’m concerned.

  • Hardy Har

    She is going to have trouble determining whose diaper needs to be changed.

    • Oh now that’s a good one!

    • Logic


    • Asdf


    • MrApple

      Mean but funny. And I’m one of the @ssholes that laughed at that comment.

    • David Walker-Kierluk

      Shots fired.

  • Azril @ Alex Vostox

    Hmmm……I wonder. I wonder that child will have difficulty during his/her school year. Imagine, she/he will be bullied by a big kids with a name calling like “Hey Glock! Hey Glock! My father is Baretta and he says you suck!” or “My brother is proud American-Eagle-Soaring Colt and polymer gun is cheap plastic!’ or worse “My mother making a Glock shaped birthday cake on DeviantArt. WHY would your grandfather put a lawsuit on her?” That Glock kid surely will have a tough school years.

    • Lange

      No child in Austria knows the name Glock. Heck even the adults won’t realise it very fast. Unless it’s billionaire-parentage was obvious, that is. I wouldn’t worry for that child.

  • totenglocke

    As long as he’s mentally sound enough to know that she’s only with him for his money, I see nothing wrong there.

    • Giolli Joker

      If he was, he probably wouldn’t have disinherited his former family…

      • totenglocke

        So being pissed at your ex-wife and kids means you have dementia? He doesn’t owe them a single cent of his fortune.

        • noguncontrol

          do all husbands or fathers owe any cent of their fortune or money to their wives or their kids? i don’t see them disinheriting their wives and kids. gaston is pissed off because his kids don’t approve of his adultery. i say good for them.

          • Giolli Joker

            Or maybe Miss Kathrin had already read all of Anna Nicole Smith story before getting close to Gaston, so she planned ahead… 😀

    • MrApple

      It’s like having a live-in prostitute.

      • totenglocke

        I’d say that’s the situation with all marriages, but then I remembered that Gaston is probably getting laid WAY more often than non-rich married men.

        • MrApple

          True and I would expect it happens on demand.

  • goatse man E03

    Thanks for sharing this important, gun-news-shattering update, Steve. I couldn’t sleep and I was dying to know the latest gossip on famous gun manufacturers.

    • BuzzKillington

      It’s like TMZ for the gun industry! Did you hear Michael O. Fifer was wearing the new Armani Spring Collection outfit while out for some ice cream and shopping last weekend? He got Cookies and Cream!

  • ColaBox

    Is this about a gun or a kid? And why the hell should we care if its the latter?

  • anonymous

    Glock fetuses are undetectable by ultrasounds.

  • patrickiv

    Oh my god. Who the hell cares?

  • Ken

    If this is Glock 4, I wonder if there will ever be a Glock 7, haha.

  • DW

    Glock always go bang

  • greg

    Euro white trash that won the lottery. What a scumbag.

    • Shambhala666

      Which one?

  • gunslinger

    oh boy

  • SP mclaughlin

    Well, it beats the Kardashians, ect. any day.

  • Jim Jones

    I don’t care if you want to run around with a 30-year old at 80. That’s pretty much natural for men. But for the love of g-d, please stop ruining family businesses over a piece of ass (see J. Howard Marshall II, Donald Sterling, Gaston Glock).

  • JustinR

    A 110-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he’s feeling.

    “I’ve never felt better,” he replies. I’ve got an 18-year-old bride who’s pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”

    The doctor thinks for a moment and says, “Let me tell you a story. I know a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season but one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him. He raises his umbrella, points it at the beaver, squeezes the handle, and BAM! the beaver drops dead in front of him.”

    That’s impossible,” said the old man in disbelief, “someone else must have shot that beaver!”

    “My point exactly.” said the doctor.

    I can’t take credit for that joke, but thought it was applicable…

    • Doom

      LOL! poor Gaston 😛

  • Michael R. Zupcak

    84 and 33? This guy is like an Austrian Hugh Hefner!

  • Asdf

    Oh please let the kid be a single stacked 9mm!

    • maodeedee

      My thoughts exactly. A 9mm the same size as the new “Baby Glock” .380.

  • Doom

    I dont even want to picture that :0~~~~

  • Darrell Allen

    Can you look at the picture and tell which one brought the most money to the wedding? I blame Black people.

  • Daniel W

    Don’t knock Glock ,Look at Cary Grant..

  • Boko Hos

    What a disgusting p)O(s of shit this old man is.