The Weekend Funny: Real Honest Action Movies, Die Hard Edition

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How many John McClain’s would it take to survive real-life Die Hard movies? Turns out, a lot. He would only survive a single movie and would need a few more lives on top of that. in one noted case, John is even “super dead.”

For those who have not yet discovered the YouTube channel ScreenJunkies, the below will give you good reason to binge.

 

There are a lot of Epidural Hematoma’s… and I love the throwback animation to the late 80’s video games.



Nathan S.

One of TFB’s resident Jarheads, Nathan now works within the firearms industry. A consecutive Marine rifle and pistol expert, he enjoys local 3-gun, NFA, gunsmithing, MSR’s, & high-speed gear. Nathan has traveled to over 30 countries working with US DoD & foreign MoDs.

Nathan can be reached at Nathan.S@TheFirearmBlog.com

The above post is my opinion and does not reflect the views of any company or organization.


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  • Sulaco

    Ya Ya, I got that. Still my favorite Christmas movie…

  • Fruitbat44

    You mean the ‘Die Hard’ movies aren’t completely realistic! And I should not regard them as suitable training materials!
    I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you! 🙂
    On a more serious(?) note though, the original ‘Die Hard’ is one of my favourite movies. The sequels I am not really fussed about, but the original is IMNSHO one of the finest action movies ever made.
    Btw, I wonder if ‘Die Hard’ did as much for the Berretta as ‘Lethal Weapon?’

    • R

      I think it did more for the Steyr AUG

      • Patrick Mingle

        What about the Glock 7?!

    • danny

      I for one was upset when his sidearm changed away from the 92F.

      • Lance

        No in a small scean in Die Hard 5 when at the NYPD range He is using his Beretta 92FS again only in Live Free or Die hard he uses a HK USP in.

        • Tom M.

          It is a Sig Sauer P220R, not an H&K USP, though there is a USP in the film.

  • 1leggeddog

    yippy kay-ay!

  • The Hun

    never did understand the popularity of the Die Hard movies.

    • st4

      It’s the joy of watching super slick bad guys go ape shit because one smart-assed cop they didn’t account for just crapped all over their master plan. McClain is the, “fly in the ointment.”

    • anonymous

      Unlike a lot of other action movies of the era (and the 26 years since), the original Die Hard had bad guys who were smart, believable, and actually had a good and well-thought-out plan that should have worked, except for some bad luck. The only other action movies I can recall from the summer of 1988 are Rambo III (Stallone) and Red Heat (Schwarzenegger).

      The movie became an instant classic largely because of the contrast between McClane and the ubermensch Action Hero characters of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and a million B-movie “stars”. Not to say that McClane isn’t a certifiable badass,
      but in the first movie, he’s pretty much an ordinary cop thrust into
      extraordinary circumstances, and he spends much of the film bleeding and
      swearing at his ill fortune in having been caught up in the plot. ( TV Tropes)

      At the time a lot of people (myself included) snickered at the idea of Bruce Willis, then known for Moonlighting, in an action movie.

      • iksnilol

        What anonymous said + the fact that some of us find John McClane relatable (at least in the first movie). Now I am no police constable (or millitary) nor am I particularily badass (unless you count saying funny things as badass) but I have been in a couple of situations where a mixture of luck and reflexes saved me. This is also what happens in the movie, average guy winds up in a bad situation (he didn’t sign up for) and simply survives.

        So there, I said it. John McClane is a relatable character (for me).

        Am I also the only one who finds it funny that the first Rambo film was pretty good and took up an important theme/subject (mistreatment and abuse of Vietnam vets)? While the rest went for ubermensch-Stallone the first one showed him as a vulnerable guy that was mistreated.

    • danny

      Because, “Ho ho ho, now I have a machine gun,” that’s why!

  • anonymous

    “Die Hard 12: Die Hungry” from The Ben Stiller Show (1992)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8xZmKvkSGE ( 3 minutes long )

  • Ross

    Seems like they kind of made this guy out to be a puss. Every time he gets hit they go for the worst injury possible.

    Slap upside the head? Subdermal hematoma. John McClane is dead.

  • Vitor

    Their analylis is a tad exagerated. I mean, according to those guys, any exciting mma match would end in someone dying.

    • Mystick

      Sadly, I would probably watch it more often in that case. More drama and not just two guys hugging each other on the ground for ten minutes.

      • Vitor

        Well, grappling/wrestling exists and it is exciting when there is ground and pound and submissions. But yeah, lay and pray can be a problem.

  • scw

    As always it is just a movie. Why so serious?

    • gunslinger

      because. that whole suspension of disbelief thing.

  • crisara

    The analysis is way exagerated, the human body can resit up to three times that, me myself had a motorcycle accident last year, i flew 7 meters and rolled 7 meters on the grond hitting myself more than 15 times in diferent prarts of the body with brutal force against concrete and nothing happened to me.

    • Mystick

      …but you were probably wearing a helmet, bike jacket, gloves, and riding footwear. Not barefoot in a tee-shirt.

  • insertjjs

    If you wanted to go completely seriously. Had he survived the 1st movie, he would have signed a lucrative book deal and then sold the movie rights for his story and retired quite comfortably and would have “never been in the wrong place at the wrong time” again.

  • Lance

    I feel the best Die Hard movies where the odd numbered ones 1 3 and 5 where the best 2 and 4 where ok but not as good. I did like they had a really hot chick in Die Hard 5 LOL!!

    • gunslinger

      like opposite Star Trek?