Epic AR vs. AK vs. Mosin Smart-Arse Comparisons

StuffYouKnow

My thanks to reader Foghorn_Leghorn who just introduced me to EverydayNoDaysOff’s epic AR-15 vs. AK vs. Mosin thread. Those looking to waste an hour (or more depending on how much you laugh!) should peruse over to the post most ricky-tick.

My personal favorites are below (there are hundreds more on ENDO):

AR15: Such light recoil, you could put on over your balls and fire.
AK47: Recoil manageable enough for anyone to use it.
Mosin-Nagant: Recoil that registers as small tremors in the earth itself.

AR15: Clean with fancy lubes and solvents with special tools.
AK47: Clean? In Soviet Russia AK clean you!
Mosin-Nagant: Squirt some Windex down the bore. Ready for another 500 rounds tomorrow!

AR15: Goes pew pew pew
AK47: Goes pow pow pow
Mosin-Nagant: Goes BOOOOOOOM!

AR15: You are careful to keep in clean in the field.
AK47: You don’t worry so much about some dirt getting in it.
Mosin-Nagant: It still has gritty grease inside it from when the Finnish army put it into storage.

AR15: Nice useful little round.
AK47: Very functional round.
Mosin-Nagant: Anti Tank Round

AR15: High cost, high maintenance.
AK47: Low cost, low maintenance.
Mosin-Nagant: What are these cost and maintenance things you speak of?

AR15: You have a never ending list of high dollar tacticool accessories.
AK47: You have a never ending list of Chinese made tacticool accessories.
Mosin-Nagant: You have carry strap and ammo what more you need comrade?

AR15: You measure your misses by sub MOA measurements
AK47: You miss and, and aim a bit lower this time.
Mosin-Nagant: Even if you miss the shockwave of the bullet will kill the animal.

AR15: Inspired by science fiction
AK47: Inspired by a need for a reliable, selectable-fire weapon
Mosin-Nagant: Inspired by men with balls. Men with HUGE, HAIRY BALLS

Readers, what are your favorites? Have any new ones?

BTW: I still have not gotten any “User of… As Seen By’…” to my e-mail yet. This is your chance to show off your creativity!

AK-47-Kool-Aid


Nathan S.

TFB’s resident Jarhead, Nathan now works within the Industry in Operations, Sales & Marketing. A consecutive Marine rifle and pistol expert, he enjoys local 3-gun, MSR’s, high-speed gear. Nathan has traveled to over 30 countries in the last three years working with US DoD & foreign MoDs. You will likely find him either in an international airport or on the local range in NE Indiana.

Nathan can be reached at [email protected]


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  • TJ GAUTHIER

    I saw one a while back:

    AR15: Smooth, quiet safety
    AK47: Large, clunky safety
    Mosin Nagant: What safety?

  • clinton notestine

    AR-15: direct impingement gas operation
    AK47: long stroke gas operation
    Mosin Nagant: 2×4 operation

  • TxFlyFish

    Safety:

    Mosin Nagant: booom, safe

  • Sledgecrowbar

    Blatant ripoff and inferior. http://7.62x54r.net/MosinID/MosinHumor.htm

  • TV-PressPass

    One my favourites:

    AR15: Can hit the broadside of a barn
    AK47: Can’t hit the broadside of a barn
    Mosin Nagant: Can hit the farm 3 miles over

  • http://zeos386sx.blogspot.com/ Insane_Penquin

    I feel like the k31 should be in on this. It is, after all, semi-semi-automatic.

    • TV-PressPass

      Pretty sure it isn’t?

      • http://zeos386sx.blogspot.com/ Insane_Penquin

        the straight pull bolt is like a semi-auto that you have to cycle every time. so semi-semi-automatic.

    • wetcorps

      Let’s see…

      AR: you shoot carefully reloaded ammo.
      AK & Mosin: You shoot dirty, corrosive surplus ammo from a can.

      K31: Surplus ammo can actually be used in a match.

      AR: you have high end polymer magazines.
      AK: your have sheet metal or bakelite magazines
      Mosin: you have a tiny metal strip
      K31: you have a detachable magazine, but mostly use clips made of cardboard and tin foil. And they work.

      AR: your rifle won the Cold War.
      AK: your rifle won some revolutions.
      Mosin: your rifle won Stalingrad.
      K31: your rifle was never used in a war… people were too scared of it to try and invade Switzerland.

      In case of dud round:
      AR: tactically take cover, eject dud, tap forward assist just to be sure, resume shooting.
      AK: swear at rifle, jerk charging handle, swear again, resume shooting.
      Mosin: cycle the action, let your elbow rest a little, resume shooting.
      K31: pull the ring, try again.

      I’m sure more can be found.

      • Joshua Allen George

        The Mosin-Nagant also won Kursk, and all the way to Berlin. Mosin-Nagant = kicked Hitler’s ASS!

  • Seth Hill
    • http://www.thefirearmblog.com/ Phil W “Senior Writer TFB”

      corrected— Thanks

  • An Interested Person

    Love this. So funny.

  • Karina

    These are old. I first saw these jokes on /k/… But much like the AK itself (and the Mosin), old is gold.

  • Lance

    Cute

  • The Forty ‘Twa

    I’m amazed people cut down the Mosin to be honest, a real hand cannon!

    • J. J.

      Speaking of cutting down stuff: I was in the Infantry, my shooting buddy is an EOD SEAL, he laughed at my NE-Westinghouse American made Mosin that I rebuilt from my family’s CMP collection. I consider it the crown jewel of all I own, something he smirked at initially. After it’s modernizing build, we sighted in all the weapons in our collections. The last that day was the Mosin. People came for miles to watch us due to the sound (yes miles), we cut down a creosote telephone pole in 20+ shots with some ole’ silver tip ammo and a stray bullet knocked down a small tree. After the Sheriffs Department showed up to see what we were shooting, my SEAL buddy said, “My lord man, I’ve got to get me an f’n Mosin!”

      • gunslinger

        I’d love to get a Westinghouse Mosin. Being from Pittsburgh GW is a pretty cool dude, added he worked with Tesla, and i’m currently doing work FOR WHN, i think it’d be neat.

        • J. J.

          Agreed and understood. I put a plain jane ATI stock on it because the recoil was ferocious and I actually wanted to shoot. Anyway, I spoke to the guy at ATI that designed the Mosin stock because the American Mosins are a different fit. I had no idea what I had until he himself offered me 2K for it. Due to it being a heirloom, I had to turn him down. The American made Mosins are the best period. (But go figure.)

  • Blake

    Our SKSs are feeling pretty left out right about now…

    A tangent on this from the photography world: http://www.lensrentals.com/blog/2012/03/hammerforum-com

  • ColaBox

    The article on ENDO should have been titled:
    “The AR sucks because bullshit I made up in my head”

    • guest

      You have obviously had your feelings hurt. This is not good. I suggest you go to the following form and fill it out:

      http://nexua.org/niji/butthurt-form/

      • ColaBox

        You sir win the internets, well played.

  • http://www.bluesheepdog.com/ Richard

    AR-15: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
    AK-47: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.
    Mosin-Nagant: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your foxhole.

  • guest

    Funny because it’s true.

    AR-15: designed for a war in a electronics chip manufacturing clean-room.
    AK-47: the globally accepted standard for rifles that survived WW3.
    Mosin-Nagant: dig it up from a WW2 battleground in the 25’th century after a nuclear apocalypse, and beat your enemy to death with it, then use the bayonet to fight off the giant mutant ants.

  • bsnighteye

    AR-15 – You would rather die than decide to use rifle in melee fight
    AKM – With this rifle you can succeed in melee
    Mosin-Nagant – Your rifle is A-grade spear with ability to shoot bullets

  • Cymond

    I don’t want to be a buzzkill and I know the tagline is “not politics”, but the guy in charge at ENDO (Mike?) is known to not always be such a nice guy. I started reading ENDO a few years ago, but stopped when he supported summary executions of nonviolent thieves by private citizens. He continued his support in the comments and did not seem to be joking.

    • Anonymoose

      You should get a chamber insert so she can shoot .32s out of it. It’s easy to train people with the insert, and you can use it at indoor ranges that would otherwise not allow full-power rounds.

      • Cymond

        That would have been a sensible thing to do but I wasn’t aware of the caliber inserts at the time. Also, we each already owned a 22lr rifle for our usual shooting.
        I was a poor college student at the time and the M38 was the closest thing I had to a defensive firearm. I’ve since expanded the collection to far more practical things, all of which my wife can handle.

    • http://www.thefirearmblog.com/ Phil W “Senior Writer TFB”

      I’ve never met him so I honestly can’t comment about him one way or the other.

    • gunslinger

      at least you didn’t give her an obrez!

      seriously, an M38 (or M44) is pretty rough. small gun with big round

      • BOB

        I loved my m44 but I sold it for a lot more than it cost me. And yes it does thump the shoulder pretty good.

  • name

    Please don’t let TFB turn into ENDO, I hate the amount of meme spouting and general *chan inspired behavior.

    • http://www.thefirearmblog.com/ Phil W “Senior Writer TFB”

      I have to admit I’m getting a little tired of the memes

      • wetcorps

        A little from time to time is cool :) Then if we want more there are plenty of dedicated sites.

        • dan citizen

          Agreed, it’s not like it’s a weekly feature.

          • Emir Parkreiner

            A weekly feature would be an improvement, considering that this is now the second time this week memes have been posted in lieu of legitimate content.

    • Jerk mcjerky

      Yeah, we all come to TFB for the best gear reviews money can buy. Don’t spoil it with creative humor.

      • Emir Parkreiner

        Apparently rehashing jokes old enough to take drivers ed constitutes creative humor. Just when you think the bar couldn’t get any lower!

    • http://www.thefirearmblog.com/ Nathan S ” Staff Writer, TFB”

      Noted.

      Have no fear, posts such as this are not going to get in the way of the news and reviews you all come here for.

      But, we do have the break the serious tone up once and a while. I received a few excellent “Users of… As Seen By’s” from your fellow readers. You may see them occasionally (weekends, etc.).

      • Reginald V. Hemmingthorne, III

        That “whoosh” sound was “jerk’s” comment zipping over your head. Try to keep up.

  • Deej S

    what about a psl? i have one…might as well stand behind the horse and tickles its ass and let it kick you

    • Wyldman

      PSL with a serious kick? Wuss. That’s all I can say. Never, ever pick up a Mosin Nagant rifle, you’ll be sorry!

  • Eric Kimbrough

    ar-15: Can hit the broad side of a barn at 800 yards.
    ak-47: can hit the broad side of a barn from inside the barn
    mosin: can hit the barn from 1 mile away, with irons.

  • Eric Kimbrough

    AK47: Your sight adjustment goes to “10,” and you’ve never bothered moving it.
    AR15: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
    Mosin: Your sight adjustment goes all the way up to 12 miles… And you’ve actually tried it.

  • Eric Kimbrough

    AK47: Service life, 50 years.
    AR15: Service life, 40 years.
    Mosin: Service life, 100 years–and counting.

  • Sean
  • Foghorn_Leghorn

    Shit, Nathan this wasn’t the one I meant yesterday. Still pretty funny though :D
    THIS was the one I was referring to http://7.62x54r.net/MosinID/MosinHumor.htm
    I was at the Houston Rodeo all day today so I didn’t get a chance to see this til now

    • gunslinger

      Olga’s Toe nails!

  • Matrix_3692

    I must share this.

  • Pete Sheppard

    Funny! Thanks! Yes, we DO need a little ‘lighten up’ periodically!

  • Dean

    That list is most likely based on this hilarious page, which has existed for several years now…http://7.62x54r.net/MosinID/MosinHumor.htm

  • Rey

    AR-15 accurate shot after shot, Ak47 not so accurate, Nagant goes boom,boom, but did I hit anything?

  • sickofthespin

    This should read;

    AR15 – High Tech
    AK47 – Low Tech
    Mosin – No Tech

    or

    AR15 – Scalpel
    AK47 – Hatchet
    Mosin – Club

    or

    AR15 – Sub MOA
    AK47 – Spray and pray
    Mosin – Results vary

  • Tree Dee

    AR 15: “Wish I could afford one!”
    AK 47: “I can get one with my tax return!”
    Mosin: (“Hundred-fifty bucks? I’ll take two!”

  • maodeedee

    Seriously folks, there are better bolt actions than a Mosin that still cost less and are chambered for a more powerful round than either an a AK OR an AR. My choice would be an SMLE Jungle carbine. it’s bolt is WAY faster to manipulate, it holds 11 rounds, has a detatchable mag, and has a safety that doesn’t take the strength of a neanderthal man to manipulate.

    And yes, they are very durable.

  • ken

    the ar goes wimp wimp wimp.. the ak goes womp womp womp… the nagant goes…..wham wham wham…and losens your fillings..LOL

  • ken

    i truly loved the joke about mikial gorbachof ( excuse spelling) they said the russians were going to give a service, then bury him. then 3 weeks later dig him up, hose him off and put him back in service..lol

  • Rick Nacca

    AR-15 : Won the cold war
    AK-47 : Won several 3rd woeld brush wars
    Mosin-Nagant : Won the pole vault computation at the 1932 olympics

  • Peter Pocket

    AR-15: Obama will be banning American-made AR rifles, parts, and accessories
    AK-47: Obama has already banned Russian made AK rifles, parts, and accessories
    Moisin-Nagant: Obama uses its Cosmoline to grease as many palms as possible

  • Peter Pocket

    Well, since that has been done to death, how about doing a polymer pistol piss-off?

    I swear by my H&K
    I swear by my M&P
    I swear by my XD
    I swear by my SR
    I swear by my FN
    I swear by my CZ
    I got a Glock. FU

  • Joshua Allen George

    This happens to be my favorite one:

    AR15: Inspired by science fiction
    AK47: Inspired by a need for a reliable, selectable-fire weapon
    Mosin-Nagant: Inspired by men with balls. Men with HUGE, HAIRY BALLS

    Proud owner of a M91/30 Mosin-Nagant rifle made outta Izhevsk, U.S.S.R. in 1943
    the longest grade A spear with shooting capabilities.
    Still love to shoot it, even after the damage my right shoulder socket has received. :D