Monkeys with Machine Guns
The journalists at China's Peoples Daily appear to be even less informed about guns than your average American journalist. Yesterday they reported that the Taliban were training monkeys to operate AK-47 rifles and Bren light machine guns.
Recently, a British journalist went to Pakistan and Afghanistan border of Waziristan’s tribal region where he witnessed a few of the monkey soldiers armed with an AK-47 rifle and Bren light machine gun. Taliban militants in the past have strictly kept the program secret.
The Infinite monkey theorem states that if you give a million monkeys a million typewriters they will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. I say that if you give a million monkeys a million AK-47s all that you will end up with is a lot of dead monkeys.
[ Many thanks to Rolf for emailing me the link. ]
Thanks so much for the post.Really thank you! Cool.
The photo is total BS. That’s no monkey firing a machine gun. You can clearly see it’s a female Taliban firing a machine gun.
It’s way more funny if you use the audio link and have the robot lady read it out loud.
Here’s a link to a CNN video of the monkey soldier story. I wonder if any other news outlet is “covering” this story.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2010/07/13/moos.jihad.monkey.cnn?hpt=C2
If you give a million monkeys a million AK-47s…you’d get a million crapped-on AK-47s.
don’tcha just love the innanet!?
Senator Dipstine from California now wants a ban on assault monkeys there too deadly for America!!!! LOL
Lance, LOL
Come on, with enough peanuts as incentives, it could happen.
so many dead monkeys…
i can see how this will end PLANET OF THE APES
“I say that if you give a million monkeys a million AK-47s all that you will end up with is a lot of dead monkeys.”
That, and a lot of AK-47s in the hands of the enemy.
Actually, I think the monkeys are smart enough to run away screaming once the first round goes off.
This is the greatest story ever! Love the dead monkeys line at the end too!
Greetings from Texas,
The scarie part is your not kidding.
The Infinite monkey theorem states that if you give a million monkeys a million typewriters they will eventually produce the complete works of Shakespeare. I say that if you give a million monkeys a million AK-47s all that you will end up with is a lot of dead monkeys.
LMAO!
I posted this on my FB status and gave you credit, Steve.
clamp, thanks
What’s not to like? Does it have Monkeys? Check. Machine guns? Check. Outlandish Conspiracy theory tied to the CIA? Check. It’s got all the ingredients of a blockbuster movie at the very least.
My favorite quote is “Taliban leaders have recently taken the initiative [to] show monkey soldiers to tourists of the Pakistan-Afghanistan border area.”
Is there a thriving tourism industry in that area? Did I miss the Summer group tour of Waziristan special from my local travel agent? Man going to the Black Hills seems so lame now…..
If you put a million monkeys in a room with a million typewriters… the smell would be unbearable. (old Letterman joke)
And now, in entertainment news: The long-awaited, action-packed new sequel to “Any Which Way But Loose”…
“Five-round burst, Clyde!”
I assumed it had to be satire. It’s very Onion. But coming out of China? Who knows. One thing’s for sure – assuming it were even possible, it would cost more to hire apes or monkeys than it would poor/bored/dumb young Afghans and Pakistanis.
Isn’t this the plot to one of the Planet of the Apes movies?