Don’t shoot burglars in creased pajamas

This advertisement from FN’s latest promotion made me laugh.

The first thing that I thought when I saw the ad was how crisp and pressed the man’s pajamas are. Look at the neat crease running down the middle of the sleeve!

Now look at his face. That shave would rival a Gillette commercial! I wish I looked that fresh when I am awaken in the middle of the night.

And lastly why is he looking glaring down at? Has he shot an intruder who is now squirming on the ground?

Steve Johnson

Founder and Dictator-In-Chief of TFB. A passionate gun owner, a shooting enthusiast and totally tacti-uncool. Favorite first date location: any gun range. Steve can be contacted here.


  • Maigo

    I think he might have a robe on… and maybe he uses silk pillow cases so he has to shave before bed.

    That still doesn’t explain why mother and daughter are fully dressed with fresh hair and makeup.

    If you keep looking, you’ll see mom has one painted nail and a 2 foot long neck…

    He’s also using a flashlight in a well lit room.

  • Reminds me of Maxwell Smart…

  • jaekelopterus

    I’m glad this blog is run by someone with a sense of humor. I’m totally unimpressed by this kind of melodramatic, fear-mongering advertising. I’m also not sold on the idea of using armor-piercing ammunition for home defense. If a cartridge is designed to penetrate body armor, it will probably also go through sheet rock or plywood, right on into the next room.

    • jaekelopterus, I don’t much like the cartridge, but the civilian ammunition (at least in the US) is not armor piercing.

  • steve b

    “And lastly why is he looking glaring down at? Has he shot an intruder who is now squirming on the ground?”

    he’s looking down stairs, which makes sense, as most bedrooms are on the second floor (here in Ireland anyway)

  • Just some ad agency and their photographers not understanding how home protection really works.
    Maybe he’s executing the burglar?

  • jaekelopterus

    You’re right, I should have said high-velocity. Either way, lousy choice for a bedside gun and borderline irresponsible marketing.

  • Eddy A

    LOLOLOL you know what? I emailed this to my friends yesterday and told them, “A midget must have broken into this guy’s house!”

    (his angle lolol)

  • subase

    FN caters to military contracts, they wouldn’t know the first thing about home defense. That’s why it looks ridiculous.

    Ads like this aren’t helping gun owners.

  • I had a lot of the same thoughts. Brand new PJ’s, clean shaved at who knows what time.

    I don’t think it’s a bad advertisement, however. FN is giving a free light to anyone who buys a Five seveN. Attached lights are fine for home defense as are Five seveN’s. People use rifles chambered in 5.56, after all.

  • Chi

    I don’t seem to remember my Insight M3 being able to produce a lightsaber like this one …

  • I personally wouldn’t want to get hit with a 5.7 round, or any bullet for that matter. Stopping power aside for a moment, the 5.7 does hold 20 rounds in the magazine, so if you like to shoot a lot of bullets, there you go.

  • Sian

    I’m more concerned with how un-suitable the Five-seveN is for home defense. Small, fast bullets with little expansion are asking for overpenetration and overshooting trouble where you really want .45 hollowpoints at worst or buckshot at best.

    Still, it’s a nice light.

  • Scott_T

    What I saw: ‘Don’t shoot the dog, daddy!’

  • Peter

    Bad writing, too. If danger doesn’t hide in the dark, why do you need a light?

  • DavidR

    “is that a flashlight peeking out of your PJs, or is that just an advertising tool?” ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Luiz

    Well, he might be looking downstairs to a street burglar using kevlar… I don’t know, sh*t happens…

  • Dangermouse

    Looks like the wife and children are more scared of dad than the threat.

    I have to admit that I think this is a bit OTT, the last time my cat used the landing as a loo I just kicked it up the arse!

  • Tuulos

    jaekelopterus, every effective home defence round will go through several inner walls, as you can see here:

    subase, plenty of other companies are using similar ads.

  • Big Daddy

    He’s firing down the stairs from the upstairs bedrooms. Anybody who owned a house would know this, I guess. That’s the first thing I thought of, he was sighting down the stairs at someone coming up the stairs toward the bedrooms.

    Nice PJs………a crease no less. It would have been a lot funnier if he was in his underwear with his hair all messed up and one eye closed…..LMAO!!!!!!!!! He kind of looks more like a Ninja then a guy who was asleep in his upstairs bedroom.

  • Don


    I know it’s not the point but regarding flashlights on guns in general… doesn’t it kind of give the other guy a good place to shoot toward?

    I’ve generally felt that holding the flashlight out to the side and keeping it off until you’re ready to check something specific is a pretty good technique.


    Johnny Pajamapants looks like the kind of yuppie doofus who would fall for this kind of ad and use a fiveseven for home defense…


  • yamalink

    No, no, we’ve got it all wrong.

    The pajama man and giraffe-neck woman ARE the burgulars. They’ve kidnapped the homeowner – a 9 year old girl (she qualified for the mortgage through a NINJA loan: no income, no job, approved), and since she tried calling 911 (adult woman took the phone) pajama man must now shoot her pink pony.

  • Sam

    What if he were aiming down the stairwell? Of course, that doesn’t fix the clean shaven look and pajamas. But, considering the retail price of a FiveseveN, maybe he represents the type of perfectionist that is the CEO of a large corporation?

  • bamarama
  • Bill Walsh

    Last night, I shot a burglar in my pajamas.

    What he was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know.

  • Burst

    My first thought:
    “Mommy, why is that man in our house?”
    “Just let him finish his Ben Stiller Impression, and maybe he’ll leave.”

  • Pancho

    One might be quick to think that a high velocity round is bad in a CQB fight due to over penetration, however the the data does not bare this out.

    Take a look at this. The 5.7 is designed to mimic the 5.56 so it should perform in a similar fashion.

    High Velocity 5.7 rounds may be better in an urban environment than a 9, 40 or 45.

    The ad is still a bit off, yes but what are they going to do? Send the model home till he grows stubble? Turn off the lights so all you can see is the beam of light and nothing else? Who really wants to see the wife without makeup on? Maybe they should have really broken into one of the FN employees homes so they could get some more realistic shots!

  • Todd

    The Five n Seven would seem well suited for use as a nightstand gun. It is low recoil and has a respectable ballistics profile. The wife can use it should that situation arise.

  • And lastly why is he glaring down at? Has he shot an intruder who is now squirming on the ground?
    He’s glaring ’cause the perp is rolling on the floor laughing at the guy who spent ‘waaaay to much money for a fancy .22 magnum for self-defense…

  • subase

    Daddy’s going *crazy* again. : )

    Well I probably don’t get the culture, but most ads I’ve seen look ridiculous. Maybe too many video games with guns.

    I think them trying to portray those situations seriously just comes of most of the time as a parody, since they never bother to do it properly.

  • OK, so the model was given a set of PJ’s that came right out of the package, and someone photoshopped the mom and kid behind him, distorting her neck in the process, and the ‘flashlight’ is actually a light saber, and he’s aiming at the ground (or down stairs) and this entire ad looks really silly, and the 5.7 round isnt really meant for anything other than tank drivers carrying a P90, and FN is a Belgian company that makes all of our M16’s and machine guns and now SF SCAR’s, but what I want to know and what no one has mentioned is this….

    Who the hell, when protecting their family in their own house, is gonna have the trigger discipline of this guy? Really? With the adrenaline flowing and your family BEHIND you, you’re not going to slide that booger hook a little closer to the action?

    I’m all for keeping my booger hook off the bang button and avoiding ND’s, and I am a firm believer in Cooper’s 4 rules, but when I may be the only thing between my family and God only knows what else, I’m going to be “ready”. When I am on a close quarters range with pop up targets I dont walk through the shooting house with my finger along the slide. Just saying.

    Oh, and I also use my USP 45 with Hornady Critical Defense as my “greet the intruder” tool of choice matched with a Surefire LED light. I’m gauranteed that, at the very least, if I hit the target he’s going to notice it. Not sure one can say the same about FN’s wunder-round. That hole at the end of the pistol looks so small compared to the slide, I thought at first he had a supressor! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • RJG

    Upsetting that the two females are shown cowering in fear, when at least one of them could be doing something useful. Not all women need a man with a gun around to protect them, I’ve got my own thank you! And if your my guy/gal/whatever, I expect your help in this sort of situation.

  • Sean,
    Trigger discipline is important for a reason. What if he was going to his son’s room to make sure he was safe?

    Also, regarding knock down power of the 5.7×28, it’s the same argument as the 5.56×45 vs 7.62×39 or 9mm vs .45acp debate.

    One hit from a .22LR is better than 10 misses from a .45. Even a .22LR is still very deadly.

  • Hogan

    I can’t believe I’m about to enter this fray…

    Weapon lights are so bright that by pointing them at the ground the area in front of you is still well lit. Of course, trying to legitimize this ad is kinda silly…

    As for as the choice of gun, lets face it, FN was hoping to corner the military market with this round, and it looks like a flop (unless you count Splinter Cell…). So, they are trying to market it to civilians now. Honestly, I want one, but I played a lot of splinter cell, and I love the idea of a $1k gun that will not have any ammo made for it with in a few years due to its exclusive nature (hell, I’m having enough issues finding 44 special).

    I’ve actually seen FN marketing this gun as a home defense gun for women recently too..

  • Reminds me of the magazine add that showed the rounds loaded backwards in the magazine.

  • As I said, I was just surprised no one else chose to mention his steely resolve to maintain trigger discipline.

    Trigger discipline is very important, I agree. I’ve heard that somethig like 80% of recorded negligent discharges occur b/c of faulty trigger discipline.
    However, he isn’t going in to his son’s room in this pic, so my question still stands, how many of you can honestly say you wouldn’t slide your finger towards the trigger if in the exact situation pictured above? Which is apparently an upper middle class home being robbed by the gang of midgets from the movie “Time Bandits”. Either that or he has a raccoon he’s staring down.

    As to the ‘knockdown power” debate, I won’t even go there. Debating velocity and grains, feet per sec and terminal mass, etc gets you no where real quick. I’m not sure any realistic home defense round is going to knock a human being down like in the movies (I don’t many people sporting elephant guns for home defense). All I worry about is the physical diameter of the projectile. My instructors always explained it was about making holes in the enemy and that a bigger hole is harder to ignore. Unless you can guarantee a brain stem shot, which I know I can’t in an intruder situation, its all about making holes that cause physical damage, damage your attacker can’t ignore even if he’s on drugs.

    I pray to God I never have to put any of this to the test in my home.

  • Carl

    Really? With the adrenaline flowing and your family BEHIND you, youโ€™re not going to slide that booger hook a little closer to the action?

    Umm… no. If you obey the safety rules in training you should be able to do the same in an actual self-defense encounter.

    If not you have failed at training, and at comprehending the safety rules.

    There is no benefit whatsoever from keeping your trigger finger “a little closer” to the trigger. The potential drawback however, is huge.

    Rule four is worth mentioning: Never fire at anything you have not positively identified.

    Flinching away a round because something startles you will not do.

    Pajama-dude gets an A for safety.

  • Sudza_Snake

    Oh the joys of Photoshop for Dummies!

    Got Goblins on the wire? Then call for Mossberg pump or a Webley .455!

  • norman

    It’s really fakey. all the comercials on television are fakey, like the one about invisiline braces where she snaps it on and her smile is so tight it looks like shes in terrible pain.

  • Sean, my finger would be on the trigger!!

  • OpsMarine

    It really looks like the little girl is about to be smothered by Giraffe-neck’s low hanging boob there. She’s looking horrified toward Super Creased Gillette Man to save her from certain death. He’s busy however, mad-dogging the mutt that yapped to awake him from his mighty slumber. He’s gonna have to press that robe again before he goes back down and he is PISSED.

    Poor animal is probably blinded or sliced in half by the “Insight Technology M3 Tactical.”

    If it had that much insight, it would know the effing lights were on.

  • JoeB

    Oh FN… first you make the 5.7 now this!? Maybe they should just give up

  • David

    What I’d most likely be wearing for middle of the night ventilation of a bad guy: Motorhead t-shirt, boxers.

  • Why are the kid and the wife *not* hiding in the closet?! “Hey, guys! Sounds like someone’s breaking in! Follow me!” Let’s just say the dad did shoot the midget intruder…is that somethign you’d want a child to see? This is completely sickening on so many levels. Damn you Ben Stiller…you seemed like such a nice guy too!

  • BTW…they photoshopped that boob in. Its so obvious. Or that woman’s breasts start at her belly button.

  • Bobby

    Ben Stiller: I’m going to get rid of my goddamn mother in law once in for all!

  • HK_USP_45

    It’s not irresponsible marketing, you’re just over-analyzing an ad. And if I came out of my bedroom, I would be looking down the stairs.

    You guys have WAY too much free time on your hands, to sit and pick apart an ad.

  • OpsMarine

    I was wondering about the boob, but look at her abnormal torso that follows it. I don’t doubt it was photoshopped now…along with her head (attached to a 9 foot neck). I guess if my wife looked like that, I’d be itchin’ to ventilate me some late night midget, too. He sure looks ready to kay eye ell ell.

  • James

    OpsMarine, I didn’t see that till you mentioned it. That’s totally freaky!

  • norman

    firts of all, all a tac light does is let the bad guy know where you are. secondly, you dont go looking for the baddie, you let him come to you while you wife calls the cops and you tell your kids to hide in a closet or under the bed. third, a hadgun with a dippy round such as that gun won’t do the trick. you need max power, like 12 or 20 gauge buckshot. dont belive all that crap about shotguns over penetrating walls. a .22 would penetrate an average wall. fourth, take a blackwater defense class if you have the money. good choice for the common man who knows nothing about home defense exept for what your buddies tell you wich dont know any more than you do. fifth, become an nra member and fight out against obama and his pal’s ideas of gun control!

    Also, a mossberg in my opinion is better than a remmington because mossberg doesnt have that thumb catcher for a feed ramp in the loading port. mossbergs is an out-of-the-way internal feed ramp unlike the famous remmington thumb eater.

  • Jonathan

    hmm. i thought he was wearing a suit.

  • norman

    i dont understand how anyone can sleep in pajamas. why not just sleep in your clothes and be ready in the morning? thats pratically the same thing.