The Mall Ninja Apptitude Test

Don’t know what a Mall Ninja is ….
66303 Big

The Mall Ninja is easily distinguished by an abundance of “tactical” gear, such as fatigues, a thigh holster (with, of course, a Glock), combat boots, bandolier and other accouterments that you’d usually only see on a SWAT operative. Median age is usually 19-25, and they tend to boast about their various exploits with certain Special Forces units, all of which they’re too young and idiotic to have joined (real Special Forces types don’t brag). They typically have opinions on everything, regardless of expertise, they are uniformly poor shots, and they tend to exhibit a frightening lack of safety training.

Taken from Lonely Machines 😀

If you want to see how much of a Mall Ninja you are then take The Mall Ninja Apptitude Test



Steve Johnson

Founder and Dictator-In-Chief of TFB. A passionate gun owner, a shooting enthusiast and totally tacti-uncool. Favorite first date location: any gun range. Steve can be contacted here.


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  • Dan

    38%. I’m ashamed.

  • haha. Don’t worry, we are either born a mall ninja or we are not!

  • Jim

    Gawd, that’s depressing 39%